everything changes, always. today i realised how much my job has turned into a career (weird, i know) and how i care a lot about it, about impressing my boss, about taking on more responsibility and learning and being more awesome all the time.
and later today, looking for hotels to stay in while i’m visiting san diego next month – how painful it is to stay in my former city as a tourist and not a local. i have so many painful and beautiful memories tied up in san diego. i was trying so hard when i lived there, to build a life, and to have something good with my husband, and to be a better person, and my dreams kind of curled up and turned into dust. i love the city but it makes me sad, too. i used to listen to this song while i lived there and think about time rushing by me, thoughts of pink sunsets and a life together and now it’s six years later and holy cats. this is how it happens.