blame my booty

okay, i have been working on this epic all-female rap mixtape for months (kind of).  it started as a joke with malloreigh and marlo when we were at the beach one day, collecting mountains of clam shells…i took a relaxed view toward it but in the past month i started to  get Really Serious about finishing it after so long.

i’m just about there!! IT’S SO CLOSE.  i’ve been spending too much time with friends instead of doing important things like giving a final order to the mix and uploading it and designing a cover.  but to tide you over, here is a favourite of mine.

on my tiny trampoline you go bounce, bounce!!

much love: tivoli pan

check out that large, sexy stainless steel saucepan on the left!  last week i scored it at winners.  no longer will i be constrained by the small size and shallow depth of my tiny cast iron! ONE FRYING PAN IS NOT ENOUGH.  now i am free to make large-batch sauces, curries, stir fries, etc, without being forced into using my soup pot.  life is good.

also, check it out.  i had perogies for supper last night!  those four were the last from the batch i made just before christmas.  oh, goodness, were they ever good!

BATS

THEY ARE SO RAD

yes. it is true. bats are so fuckin’ cool.

here’s why:

- they are flying mammals. how fucking cool is that?  although the mammal world is fairly diverse, only a few types are airborne.  most glide, but bats are  pretty much the only mammal that flies.

- they can crawl on their front arms

- one word: echolocation.  there’s evidence to support that echolocation abilities evolved independently in different bat populations, making some bats more related to non-echolocating (fruit) bats than others.  it is common knowledge that natural pressures can produce similar characteristics in disparate populations, but surprising to find that may be the case with super-hearing in bats!

- bat houses! you can put them on your property to attract/keep bats around, just like you would for birds. they have an added bonus of eating a fucking tonne of bugs, and who likes bugs more than bats? JERKS. that’s who. you can get small, birdhouse style huts, or if you have the space, or a large shelter. another positive: by having living space for bats, you’re helping fight their global decline in a small way (disease is responsible for a huge percentage of the decline and adding habitat is unlikely to affect that).

- they can rock themselves to sleep and look all cute. and did you see that ear-wiggling? holy hot dogs, is it ever adorable.  and sweet baby jesus, are tiny things ever cute!  i want to bottle feed a tiny bat<3

- they eat bugs.

- black isn’t your colour? they also come in white, for advanced accessorization.

- they have an astonishing array of nose shapes.

sword:

pig:

leaf:

- flying foxes are so fucking cute, it’s like a joke. i can’t believe it.

- most bats are so small as to be pocket sized, and that is always rad.
- some bats eat fruit.  since we both share an animal-product free diet, fruit bats get their own special shout-out.  besides, they are the deaf dudes of the bat kingdom and my ears are also working toward deafness.  where will the comparisons end? WHO KNOWS

- bats like cuddle parties. i google image searched ‘bats cuddling’ and google said ‘do you mean cats cuddling‘ and i was like NO MOTHERFUCKER I MEAN BATS CUDDLING

ALSO here is one more

BABY BATS

2011 reading list

yeah, it’s a few weeks into the new year already, but who fucking cares. this is what i read in 2011.

infinite possibilities – mike dooley
eating animals – jonathan safran foer
the duchess – amanda foreman
when fox was a thousand – laryssa lai
the golden compass,
the amber spyglass,
the subtle knife – philip pullman
the magician’s nephew,
the lion, the witch and the wardrobe,
the horse & his boy,
the voyage of the dawn treader,
the silver chair,
the last battle – cs lewis
no country for old men – cormac mccarthy
lies my teacher told me – james w loewen
the vagina monologues – eve ensler
anne of green gables,
anne of avonlea,
anne of the island,
anne of windy poplars,
anne’s house of dreams,
anne of inglewood,
rainbow valley,
rilla of ingleside – lm montgomery
salt – mark kurlansky
the journey prize anthology
girl goddess #9 – francesca lia block
wind, sand and stars – antione de sainte exupery
jinian footseer,
dervish daughter,
jinian stareye,
kings blood four,
necromancer nine,
wizard’s eleven – sherri s. tepper
matigari – ngugi wa thiongo
things fall apart – chinua achebe
i was amelia earhart – jane mendlesohn
what is the what – valentino achak deng & dave eggers
the edible woman,
cat’s eye,
life before man – margaret atwood
the room – emma donoghue
necklace of kisses – francesca lia block
love in the time of cholera – gg marquez
the autograph man – zadie smith
tender is the night – f. scott fitzgerald
master & margarita – mikhail bulgakov
songbird journeys – miyoko chu
naive. super – erland loe

i know i’m missing a few, but that’s something i’ll just have to let rest. as it is, the list weighs in at fifty one titles, up from a low of twenty six in 2009.

i re-read a tonne of books last year; thirty one of the fifty were re-reads. the most disappointing re-read was the chronicles of narnia. i read them around age ten, and again at seventeen or eighteen, and enjoyed them both times, but on this read-through the overt sexist and christian themes really got to me. i re-read anne of green gables for the first time since 2004 and still found the characters, writing and themes super charming. and of course i loved the his dark materials trilogy! it’s immensely moving every time i return to it.

the new reads i enjoyed most: middlesex, master and margarita, naive.super, eating animals, what is the what, everything listed by sherri s. tepper.

least favourite new reads: the room, tender is the night, the autograph man.

care to share the best books you encountered last year?

layered tights

this is a really common search tag that comes up in my flickr stats, so it may indeed deserve its own post.

reasons that layering tights is a great idea:
- it gives added visual interest
- it is another layer of warmth in the winter
- if you have tattooed legs, patterned tights often just don’t look right without the opaque base. on my own legs, i am sometimes happy with the way a simple pattern, like a fishnet, shows up, but for more elaborate patterns, my large leg tattoo just gets in the way.
- on a similar note, it can add a coloured background that better showcases patterned tights, even when you don’t have crazy tattoos
- you get more wear out of your tights. two pairs at once! OH BOY

here are some ways i’ve deployed such a tactic in my wardrobe:

maroon under-tights by hue (colour not currently available on their site, but you can find a wide selection on ebay)
knee-highs by sock dreams

white under-tights: hue, i think
maroon over-tights: perhaps costa blanca? i don’t remember!

before this outfit, i had never worn thigh-highs with the tops showing, and it was an incredibly sexy feeling. this was one of my favourite outfits of 2011, for sure.
eggplant under-tights: hue again!
knee-highs: same as above.

these pale pink floral tights are the perfect example of when you need a coloured background to make them pop. i’ve worn them with nothing underneath and it’s just not as effective because the pale pink is too similar to my skin colour.
navy blue under-tights: forever21
pale pink floral over-tights: forever21

white under-tights: hue, i think.
maroon knee-highs: sock dreams (i don’t think these are identical, but they are similar)

i feel like it’s worthy of note that this outfit was completely inspired by my super-stylish friend mal. although i have been layering tights for ages i had never thought to do opaque colours together. she’s often wearing sexily ripped up black tights with some cozy ripped thigh-highs overtop, and her signature palette is mostly neutral colours (i rarely stick to them, though they look so chic). she also wears lots of slouchy sweaters, so pulled together from my closet, this is my remix of her style. the skirt was a hand-me-down from her, so somewhat of a cheat, but fucking whatever

white under-tights: hue, i think.
charcoal thigh-highs: jacob, not available online.
grey knee-highs: target

swooon!

i recently discovered etta james’ first album, ‘at last!’

HOLY FUCK

1.) the album cover is so great. the beehive! honey-coloured hair! dramatic earrings and eye makeup! the cursive font! SWOON

2.) etta has an incredible, rich, deep and sultry voice. i have long loved the song ‘at last’ (my mom always dedicates it to me) but i was recently at a coffeeshop and they played the full album (on vinyl, no less). oh shit. i almost fell off my chair. i would have ran out and immediately bought a record player and this album just to listen to it a hundred times in a row, if only i had space in my tiny apartment to set it up. i swear, as soon as i scale up and have a bit of space, i’m going to make it happen.

3.) it’s good music for a slow-dance in the kitchen with someone you love (or, alternately, fast-dance. whatever).

4.) check this shit out!

much love: jasmine

tiny, incredibly fragrant jasmine flowers are my favourite thing this week. the scent reminds me of the time i spent living in san diego–my apartment complex had jasmine and honeysuckle everywhere, and i was blown away by how strong their scent was. i have a tiny jasmine tree in my apartment, and it’s flowering right now. the scent isn’t quite as strong coming from one small plant instead of masses of large ones, but it’s still beautiful. .

i’m also loving jasmine green tea (swoon!) and jasmine solid shampoo by lush. and, i guess i should add, i’m quite fond of jasmine fitzwilliam, profiled earlier inmust-read: the daily frolic.

it’s so interesting how scent is such a powerful memory-trigger, and how small things impress on our memories in a way we would never anticipate. i never expected that my time living in san diego would leave such lasting imprints on me, but i was exposed to so many new things it would be nearly impossible not to be changed by them.

inkformation v. 1

portmanteaus are pretty much my favourite, so i bring you a new blog-feature. ink-formation. get it? ink/information? GROAAAAAAN

ok, now that we have that over with, i wanted to share a few of my tattoos with you, specifically the ones i have gotten for other people.

THE FIRST

is a coffee cup that says FRED. it’s kinda silly; it’s for my super-goofy grandpa z (mom’s dad). his name is harold, but he calls everyone fred cause he thinks it’s funny. when i was living in the us, he was diagnosed with cancer and for some time was refusing treatment. i kind of panicked and thought i’d never see him again; but then he caved and got the tumour removed and was fine (no chemo necessary!) and since then we have had some nice visits.

the reason i chose a coffee cup was that he has always had this warm grandpa smell of coffee and cigarettes. obviously (i hope) i wouldn’t get a tattoo of a cigarette, so coffee it was.

THE SECOND

(hah, i’m even wearing the same shirt in the photos! crazy coincidence, since they were taken something like 3 years apart)

the second is a strawberry for my grandma w (dad’s mom). i spent a lot of time with her growing up; my parents split up early, and my dad and his parents live near eachother, so they were kind of automatic babysitters. i have fond memories of long summer afternoons with my grandma in her giant garden, picking strawberries, peas, raspberries, carrots, etc. i remember searching for kittens and for eggs under hens; holding tiny chicks in my hands until they fell asleep; feeding the sheep, checking on ewes and lambs; her putting my hair in a bun before ballet every week; watching her strong hands peel vegetables; being spoiled by her getting our favourite kinds of ice cream and letting us have some every day after school if we wanted.

my sweet babushka-wearing grandma was diagnosed with alzheimer’s disease maybe six or seven years ago. she’s progressed fairly slowly, in that the time between diagnoses and death averages seven years. she’s still living at home, but won’t be for much longer. she’s really cheerful even though she’s pretty much oblivious to everything around her and can’t follow conversations. it’s painful to accept that she has slipped away but i have had a few precious moments with her. because her mind was in the past, she shared some stuff with me about working on the farm after my dad was born. although i spent much of my childhood with her, in many ways we had a surface relationship. i didn’t, and still don’t, know a tonne about her past, so it was a real gift to find out a little more before she slipped back into whatever reality she inhabits.

it feels like my grandma is already gone, even though her body is still here. i got this tattoo to keep the good memories of her alive and not buried by the more recent sad ones.

THE THIRD

(and unlikely to be the last dedication) is a lady gouldian finch for my good friend vanessa. it is colourful and grumbledy, just like her.  unfortunately, it’s impossible to photograph the entire bird at once due to the curve of my small arm, but let me assure you it has a beautiful blue-and-green tail wrapping around my wrist.

vanessa has been a really important part of my life for something like six years. she has been such a solid, wonderful friend since we met. when she finds people she likes, she kind of adopts them as her friend and i’m so lucky to be a recipient of her intentions. for most of our friendship, we have lived in different cities, and now that we’re in the same place it’s a real treat.

she always bosses me into taking photos that turn out incredible. she makes me laugh so hard (she has this polished vulgarity that kills me) and gives me great advice when i need it, even if it’s a kick in the ass. she’s wonderfully direct. she has great style and always looks well put together. she’s so smart, has an incredible vocabulary, eclectic tastes and is such a talented artist. we have long been planning to get a tattoo together but nothing suitable has ever occurred to us. when i started working on adding birds to my left arm in 2008 i knew i’d add a piece for her. she is irreplaceable and such a gift in my life. we have had some wonderful times shopping, looking at art, painting our nails and taking photos together. i am so looking forward to many more!

coming up for air

green swimmer by lucia johnson (click image to get to its etsy listing)

from the depths of the past couple months, a positive picture has emerged. 2012 will be a year of travel, body love, new adventures, continuing my formal education, deep friendships, great music and delicious food. i feel great about the prospect of another year of being single.

recently a healer spoke to me about this image: coming up for air, bouyed by joyous waves. it was synchronous because i’ve had the painting above in my etsy favourites for months. today i finally bought it, because i have faith in my ability to push myself into excellence this year more than any before.

feeling safe

a few nights ago, i was walking over to my friends’ to have supper with them, when i got harassed. i was walking in the alley to get to their door, and i passed a group of 5-6 guys standing and talking beside two parked cars. one of them stepped away from the group and turned toward me, making heavy eye contact and said ‘hello, love! how are you?’ and put on a sly smile. because of the size of the group of men, i decided it wasn’t safe for me to respond and just glared and kept walking purposefully. i mean, it was a really small comment, but a huge invasion of my privacy. i deserve to be able to walk through the world without men having to press their intentions upon me. i deserve to respond in a way that feels most natural to me (in this case, it would’ve been “go fuck yourself”) without feeling unsafe.

it made me so mad. back when i was an angry girl skateboarding around calgary, i would get catcalled rudely fairly often and i always felt confident in my ability to give a rebuttal because a skateboard ensures a quick getaway and/or an easy weapon. in those days, i never hesitated to callback to street harassers. since then i have always weighed my ability to defend myself in the situation with the likelihood that i will callback and it is so rare that i feel like i can safely respond. my usual response is to keep walking, glare (or in the case where i’ve been harassed on the bus) pretend i didn’t hear it.

i hate the culture that allows men to invade my safety-space. i hate being approached by men on the street who ask to have sex with me (once while i was wearing an ankle-length parka, once while i was wearing a cute short summer dress. what i wear doesn’t matter). the dude hanging out by my front door (obviously a totally sketchy dude) who tries to start a conversation with me and gets offended that i will not talk with him. the dudes on the street that call me love and honey and comment on my body/my clothing.

i hate feeling powerless against these men. even if i took a self-defense course, i wouldn’t feel safe talking back when it’s a group of six men! i’m so aware of my small size, and feel relatively powerless compared to men. i don’t know what i can do to change this culture where women’s bodies are open for men to comment on wherever, whenever.

i’m so disgusted. i don’t know to react that would make me feel empowered and not afraid. what space is there that is safe for me?